Why do the lenders only help borrowers in default, not those PAYING!!

Thanks so much for the response, Ted. Truly appreciate it. We’ve thought of every option, including the “me” or “family” buy the house, since we’ve put so much into it financially, especially him. He ended up finishing the house when it was still in construction status and PNC (formerly w/Nat'l City) wanted it off their books as such, with his own money – which is pretty much what started the downhill process to BK. It’s crazy in the sense that, they will ‘only’ help those who are underwater, aren’t paying, have Freddie/Fannie (merely because the Govt assists), but won’t help someone in his situation stay in his own. Just gets me every time. If his family or I were able to buy it, we would, and I’m considering an 80/15/5, BUT, the “liquid” we thought we’d have by now, hasn’t come to fruition. Needless to say, we do a lot of praying. I respect him more than I can express in words for having tremendous morals after having to go through such a loss of pride event. He’s a determined soul, as am I. But, it would be nice if people were as determined to help, you’d think they wouldn’t want to foreclose. In the interim, the house has been listed for the last 2 years, with sporadic showings – it’s rural on 12 acres and, 3600 square feet (jumbo loan as well), and the ex-wife has a 2nd lien from the divorce (which was determined with hypothetical equity – another irritation in and of itself since equity is allegedly determined by what you’ve put “in” to a home you’ve lived in, she never lived in the home). Our plan is to keep paying the mortgage, of course, the “online payments” continue ‘through’ the month of the ARM in March, and as they contact us, we can only hope they’ll extend it long enough for us to either sell or, have the ability to buy, because the ex’s owelty has to be taken care of in the process. They have been, however, paying the taxes (in escrow) and our payment went up last year, but still haven’t missed a beat. It’s just a shame, as I said, that there aren’t options for those in ‘our’ (his) situation. Personally, I have a sister in NY with a mortgage with BOA who hasn’t paid her mortgage in nearly 3 years, and she’s still there. Just makes you tap your head in wonder.